mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize