I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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