dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
