Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Gay?
German.
Pity.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize