You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
