So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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