I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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