..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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