At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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