The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
