It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
