Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
