SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
