Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
