he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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