Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
