It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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