Please, let me fuck your mom
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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