He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
