After last night, I could never be a politician.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
