I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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