Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
