oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize