Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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