at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
