Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize