oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
