dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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