I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
