People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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