I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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