we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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