My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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