idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
