I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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