My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
