If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
