I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
