someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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