guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
