all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
