playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
