I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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