You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
