Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
