I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
