Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
