it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
