Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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