I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize