did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
