Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
