just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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