So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize