Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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