Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
