His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
