Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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