Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize