9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
