The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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