the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
