I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize