I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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