I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize