Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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