Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
