Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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