Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
