Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
