if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think pants incapable of making pants work
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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