had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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