You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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