just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
