You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
