I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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