btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
